people w. skin sensitivities/sensory issues related to clothes, please advise

[laurajv]

I have an elementary-school-aged child who has some sensory issues. She and I have been struggling a bit with one part of her wardrobe — things for when she needs to be dressed up. I want her clothes to be comfortable for her, but I allllllso don’t want her to become a target for bullying for wearing inappropriate clothes to, say, school concerts.

 

Here’s what she and I have worked out so far:

- no trousers with buttons/zips/stiff fabrications

- no dresses

- in theory skirts are ok, but in practice dressy-enough skirts usually have itchy waistbands or fabrics

- leggings with dressy/festive patterns are almost always too itchy

- cardigans can be very fancy before they get bothersome because of the layer underneath. pullovers get too hot too quickly, though.

- tights are fine but leggings are preferable under skirts

- buttoned shirts are fine as long as they are soft fabrics

 

So I think what we can work with is:

- a few nice buttoned shirts (she has some plaids, maybe add a solid or two in favored colors)

- a colored cardigan (she has a black one)

- black leggings that are thick enough to read as pants (but not too thick: most “jeggings” are uncomfortable to her)

- a couple jersey skirts in favored colors

- a couple jersey tops that have details like armhole ruffles or twisted hems, or very gentle applications of glitter, but not a LOT of details

 

I think that if we select from that set judiciously, she will be able to feel comfortable while still looking appropriate. What I need advice on is this: IS this actually a workable, dressy-enough wardrobe that can grow with her? I am worried she’s going to be underdressed at certain occasions and feel badly about that — she’s already noticed that she isn’t dressed as nicely as other kids at various events and been upset by it. I’m trying to strike a balance here for her that she can adapt for herself as she gets older and that won’t make her feel strange in her own skin (literally or metaphorically). 

 

Are there things we can experiment with to make her feel more dressed up? She can’t tolerate headbands or hair clips, or necklaces or bracelets. I’m tempted to let her use a little sparkle lip gloss. Maybe soft pins/brooches? 

 

Is there some obvious clothing item that she and I are missing that might help out with this? 

Comments

[opensummer]

Maybe ask her how she feels about silky fabrics? I've got clothes issues related to autism and find silky or satiny fabrics very satisfying. Depending on the length of her hair I'd try seeing if she likes having her hair braided? You can work your way up to ribbons in the braids; they're soft, something she can choose, and gives her something to fiddle with when she's feeling overstimulated.

Also a large part of my issues with overheating came from having my hair down, so maybe she's similar?

I can't stand most jewelry but I love bracelets, and glitter (as long as you don't mind it getting Everywhere) is a nice compliment to an outfit. Linen and soft cotton are both things to try for materials, and linen, much like silky or satiny fabrics, has the bonus of coding as dressier even when it's not really.

Hope this helps!

[laurajv]

She hates braids and prefers to wear her hair in ponytails or down. Braids apparently feel itchy and weird. (I personally hated ponytails and only wore braids when I had long hair, but she's the opposite!)

I'll see if linen or silky fabrics work! Hard to find those in kid sizes sometimes but if I can find a fabric she likes at Joann, I could make her a skirt or top from it. Thanks!

[opensummer]

Happy to help!