Things I never did figure out.

[laurajv]

Beauty & the Beast, the television show, which I loved passionately as a pre-teen/teenager, had some serious logic problems. Serious enough that a pre-teen passionately in love with the show noticed them, people.

1. Vincent was all terrified of scratching up Catherine in some kind of lustful haze. Fingernail clippers, dude. Look into it.

2. Vincent is basically a tall hairy guy with fangs, a cleft lip, and claws. Fingernail clippers and a razor can take care of two of those problems, and then you've got a kind of homely guy who mumbles a lot and never opens his mouth too wide. Sure, rude people are going to stare at the cleft lip, but you can, in fact, clean up and take your lady out to dinner if you want to, homes.

One of these days I'm going to up and write the story for #2. After I build my fangirl-proof bunker to hide in afterwards, because that fandom is even crazier than Due South.

Comments

[true_statement]

Pretty sure I wrote a deadly earnest claw-clipping BatB fic maybe a decade ago. I wish I could still id-wallow like back then.

[laurajv]

AWESOME.

[laurajv]

I just found this at AO3. Nailclipping in pursuit of sexytimes.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1956

[true_statement]

Yup. That would be mine. Ahem.

[laurajv]

Hee! I rather liked it; fingernails aside, I generally find that the difference between sex scenes that are interesting and ones that are not is whether or not the emotional impact on the partners is handled well. I thought this was (enough to make me put some of your other stories up in browser tabs for later reading).

[krait]

Heh. :D I like your suggestions for improving their social lives!

Personally, my first thought was, "Dude, take her to a furry convention. Anyone who spotted that you weren't actually in a costume would be so in awe he wouldn't say anything. Or, y'know, regular costume parties; same deal, except that in place of 'awe' substitute 'convinced he was drunk' with the same result."

[laurajv]

Catherine: Vincent! I've rented a panel van. Come on.

Vincent: Where are we going?

Catherine: Pittsburgh.

Vincent: ...

Catherine: For Anthrocon. You'll love it. GET IN THE VAN.

[krait]

HAHAHAHAhaha!

I can see the expression on her face right now, and it is priceless. :D

[kickair8p]

Hey, I'm all for it! If there's one thing I dislike more than self-hating monsters it's ridiculously tragic romances.

~

[laurajv]

I KNOW RIGHT??

(Honestly, I think that show primed me hardcore to accept Robin McKinley's Rose Daughter as the perfectly natural and only right way to end that particular story.)

[kickair8p]

Huh, good point.

Hey, you know those 3D tools I make cg-art with? There's a free Vincent model here. Everything it needs ( M4, F4, even the software ) is also free. Just wanted to give you a heads up in case you're interested.

~

[kickair8p]

Okay, I tried it -- although I'm sure it can be done better, I'm reasonably happy with how this came out. Pic is here ( http://kickair8p.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d3a6ymq ) -- hope this is encouraging!

~

[laurajv]

Rock. On.

I love it!

[kickair8p]

Thank you! :D

~

[kickair8p]

FYI, though -- if you want to play around with Soto's Vincent yourself, part of what it uses (Freak4) is free till tonight (Friday 2/25/2011 midnight Utah time) only. Also, although Michael4 is free, it's genitals are in an accessory pack that's 50%-off through midnight tonight.

~

[ariestess]

I... hadn't thought about it that way. And yet, it makes complete sense.

I'd so read the story if you wrote it...

[laurajv]

also, I'm just saying, if you don't want to employ fingernail clippers, find yourself someone who can help you out with some really good restraints. (p.s. that thought did not occur to me when I was a preteen, but I've had more than twenty years to think about it since then.)

[ariestess]

If you had thought of it then, I'd think you were really precocious and awesome. LOL!

[basingstoke]

:D

I'm now seeing that show in a whole new light. And man, I haven't watched it since I was like 13. I'm scared to rewatch. I do not think I could deal.

(like WHY are they all dressed like Ren Fair NO NO NO CAN'T GO THERE)

[laurajv]

I rewatched the whole thing in my mid 20s. It was not enjoyable the way it was as a preteen, but I didn't hate it...just noticed more of the logic holes AND the things left unsaid (Catherine TOTALLY nailed Elliot, and Vincent totally felt it through the bond, I can tell).

[laurajv]

I am going to blame you for the "earning red wings" Catherine/Vincent story in my head.

I don't know why it's your fault, but I'm sure it must be somehow.

[ariestess]

*sporfles* Um... Y'know, I'll take the blame and not even flinch over it. I don't know for sure, but you're probably right that somewhere over the years I've been involved in getting that idea in your head. I think there were a lot of very frank discussions among the fuhqers way back when, and I'm sure that was brought up at least once or twice, and I'd have chimed in on said discussions... So yeah, feel free to blame me...

[laurajv]

I'm blaming YOU, and TED STURGEON, and, and, and, AUNTIE RUTH.

There. That's my blame list.

[ariestess]

Then I'm in good company on your blame list. I'm down with that. LOL!

And I am LOVING the icon!

[ratcreature]

I also loved BatB as a kid. I can understand not wanting to shave everything, but yes, a costume ball or the like would work for a date. Which reminds me of that Sanctuary ep where Sanctuary's "Big Foot" is absent in an episode which is explained as him going to San Diego Comic Con with Henry (a werewolf) for vacation because they won't stand out there.

[laurajv]

There was that episode where they were at a masquerade ball on halloween! And then the next day Vincent scared a jogger who was all Halloween was yesterday, pal!

That made no sense, because obviously the day after Halloween, you see a dude in a costume hanging out with a lady in a costume, you don't freak out. Especially in New York, where something weirder than that is just around the corner.

I feel like the show worked really hard to make Vincent seem freakier than he actually was.

[ratcreature]

Yeah. I'm pretty sure in any sizable city nobody would react much at all to Vincent, but just assume he was in a costume for some reason, whether for some event, or a promotional thing or just a weirdo. I mean, people are very intent to *not* react. I once waited at a bus station and someone who was jumping around half-naked clad in some pseudo fur loin cloth shouting something crazy, and everybody in the crowd just ignored him. ETA: I guess close contact or regular encounters might be a problem, but for casual glances if he just went about his business confidently I imagine it wouldn't matter too much.

[laurajv]

Yeah, you'd end up with stuff like this on Overheard In New York:

Tourist#1: There is a guy dressed like a lion over there.
Tourist #2: don't look! He might be a purse snatcher.

[krait]

NEW IDEA:

Instead of a furry con or costume party, he could just wear a sandwichboard with an obscure logo on it. Everyone would assume he was promoting "Amaticayo All-Natural Products" or "Say NO to Prop 1154" or whatever. :D

Even more if he carried a clipboard conspicuously and sent her up to a group every now and then to ask if they had "a few minutes" to fill out a survey on consumer spending habits. *giggling* People couldn't get away fast enough, and they'd also studiously avoid looking at him too hard... with no public panic or calls to Animal Control.

[ladyvyola]

They totally should have come to DragonCon.